I have been feeling others feelings since before I can even remember. I was born into a life of empathy and if you’re reading this you may have been too.
Being an empath is a blessing and a curse. I love being able to connect and relate to literally everyone I pass by on the street. We are all one, after all. BUT with that being said, it is a lot for one person to take on 24/7.
Because I can feel things so fully and deeply, a lot of emotions and burdens that aren’t even mine to carry get stuck in my body and they are extremely difficult to release and regulate. When I was growing up I thought everyone was like me – turns out they are not. You can feel empathy for people and not be an empath. A lot of people tend to generalize the meaning these days. An empath can literally feel and take on someones energy without the other person even saying a word.
Below I am sharing what I have found helps me stay grounded and present as an empath. Since implementing these tips, I have found I am able to release others emotions and burdens so I am only left to hold awareness to my own.
1. Stop watching the news
I didn’t do this intentionally at first. When I was a high school student, I would totally nerd out and debate with the kids in my AP classes about current events and politics. I would wake up and watch the news before school as I ate my breakfast – I thought that is what mature adults did. I had a TV in my room and in my living room for as long as I can remember. Fast forward to college, I lived in a suite with 7 other girls my freshman year. We only had a TV in our shared space, which I hardly watched unless it was a movie or we were binge watching One Tree Hill. Sophomore year, I lived in another dorm suite situation. I was so busy with school, being a DI student athlete and my social life that I stopped watching TV completely just because I didn’t have the time.
From then on, I noticed when I would go to the nail salon, gym, anywhere where the news was on, I would get so wrapped up in it. It was like a car wreck – I couldn’t look away! I would feel SO stressed and anxious afterwards.
After being away from it for so long, I had a huge realization: it is literally the same sh*t every day. Nothing changes except for faces and locations. Shootings, fires, foreign wars, viruses, deadly insects, politicians cheating on their wives, professional athletes smoking pot, celebrities getting their 5th divorce, etc. Why do we fill our brains with all of this fear and anxiety constantly?! Especially if you are an empath – it just is not healthy or beneficial in any way!
If you’re worried about keeping up with current events, trust me, you will find out what’s going on in the world. People talk about it. As an empath, consuming all of this tragedy and loss every single day will drive you absolutely crazy. You may not even realize how much it is affecting you until you stop.
2. Limit your time and who you follow on social media.
Social media can be a great tool when used in moderation. One day as I was scrolling through my Facebook, I just couldn’t take all the negativity anymore. I decided to delete all the people who post a lot of negative, attention-seeking posts (sorry, not sorry). If you have a mother or someone you don’t feel comfortable unfriending, you can mute them so you don’t see your posts. I have done that with a few people who are my friends in real life, they are just always complaining and posting about every tragedy known to man on their socials. I actually have found myself liking them again now that I don’t see their update about every little political thing going on. Again, sorry, not sorry…
Once I got intentional about who I had on my socials and what I consumed, it was a huge wake up call to all the BS I was ingesting. I would be reading controversial posts, the comments on the post of people fighting about the topic, then some comments would piss me off and would literally ruin my day. I mean, am I the only one who has done that? It is so ridiculous and such a waste of time when you really think about it.
3. Set boundaries & take inventory of the people in your life.
As empaths, we feel others emotions and feelings deeply. It is easy for us to feel bad for these people and whatever they have going on. However, because of this, we tend to let others walk all over us, or use us as a sounding board. That is not beneficial for either party. If you are allowing this, you need to start taking inventory of the people in your life. If you have a friend, family member, coworker, etc., who is constantly taking advantage of you, knowingly or unknowingly, because you are a kind and empathetic person, it is time to reevaluate their placement or role in your life. This doesn’t mean you have to cut someone out completely, but if Aunt Suzie is always pulling you over every holiday party to let you know how much of an a**hole her ex-husband for 20 years ago is, you should start coming up with a plan to avoid her or tell her you don’t want to talk about that. You do not have to sit and listen to everyone’s problems. You do not have to be there for a friend if you are not in the right head space yourself.
I hope these tips have helped you like they have helped me! I’d love to hear in the comments what has helped you live your best life as an empath…
xx,
Kayla <3